A few weeks ago, I was at my sister's house, hanging out with 3 of my nephews. They love me. What!? I'm just being honest. They do. And I love them! Soooooo much! So, the day I was with them also just happened to be a day when I was feeling, well, let's just say "not pretty." You know those days when you just feel ugly? But I didn't really care too much, but my nephews (ages 7, 5, and less than 1) don't care what I look like. They love playing with me on my best days when I'm dressed up and pretty, on my tired days when I'm in my PJs, on my sweaty days when I just got back from a run, and on my bad days when I'm feeling ugly. They'll even wake me up at the wee hours of the morning to play with me while I'm still asleep. So, needless to say, it really didn't matter to them that I didn't look my best that day.
I don't even remember what we were doing, probably playing UNO or watching a movie, but I remember thinking to myself, one day, these boys are gonna grow up and be embarrassed of me on my ugly days. The thought disturbed me, but nonetheless, it was true. Or so I thought.
That night when I went home, I was sitting in my living room doing some homework when my roommate told me she had just read an awesome blog and wanted to read it out loud to me. Here's the link:
http://offbeatfamilies.com/2012/11/telling-daughters-im-beautiful#
This blog says it all. I don't really have much else to say except that our kids are who we make them. Yes, they have agency and personality and they are their own person. But really, for the most part, their attitude about life comes from us and what we say. And if I say I am beautiful, then I never have to worry about my nieces and nephews growing up and realizing that I'm not as beautiful as they always thought I was. Because I am as beautiful as they always thought I was.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Utah
I love living in Provo. I know, it's crazy, right? Most people I talk to here will say things like, "I can't wait to get out of Provo" or "The second I graduate, I'm getting out of this town," And I would imagine that if I talked about liking it here, people might even say, "wait, you like living here?" It's a widely made-fun-of place in all of Utah. But here's the truth, Provo is cool. I haven't always thought it was cool. In fact, I hated it when I first moved here. I used to feel the way that some other people do. I used to make fun of Provo and the people who live here. I hated the culture, the weather, the size, the proximity to other places, the everything. And honestly, every once in a while I feel like that still. Who doesn't get that way about the place where they live every once in a while, right? I don't know exactly how I went through the change of hating it to enjoying it. But I do remember one day, I was complaining to my roommate about all of the snow outside and she said something like, "yeah, but just look at the trees covered in fresh snow. It's beautiful! Maybe tomorrow it will be ugly again, when the snow falls off and you can see the dead branches again. But right now it's beautiful!" Of course I vocally denied everything she said. But she had a valid point. And her simple statement sparked the beginning of a change not only for my attitude about Provo, but for my attitude about life. I know it sounds cheesy, and it is. But honestly, that's when I started to see things differently.
From then on, every time I saw the fresh snow on the tree branches, I would remember how beautiful it was instead of how cold I was. I made a commitment to stop having such a negative attitude about Provo... about Utah... about life in general. I decided I would look at things with a different heart. When I saw the snow, I saw the beauty of an individual snowflake rather than how cold it would be to walk to school that day. When I thought of all the Mormons, I thought how cool is was to be surrounded by people with my same values rather than how weird it was that everybody was the same religion. When I had an encounter with a bad Utah driver, I thought maybe she's just learning to drive. When I remembered there is no ocean nearby, I thought about the other cool things I could do, like hike Mt. Timp. or go to the hot springs. When I thought about the people who lived in a bubble, I remembered my 2 roommates from Utah who are THE coolest people I know and remembered that it doesn't matter where you're from, you can still be awesome. The list goes on, and some of my negative thoughts I will have to leave out as to not offend too many people. But the point is that I learned that I was being stupid before. I had a stereotypical view about a great place and a generally good group of people. Eventually my attitude changed. Eventually I liked it here and I loved the people.
So my attitude started changing a few years ago. But tonight I was shown why I really love it here. I went to dinner with my roommates to celebrate our love for Bronwyn, who's moving back to CA in a few days. On our way home, Bronwyn and I saw a car stopped in the middle of the street with its emergency lights on. We assumed it was an car accident, but then noticed a girl lying in the street. A pedestrian had been hit. There were a few people surrounding her and when we looked closely we noticed that there were 2 men with their hands on her head, giving her a Priesthood blessing. In that moment, I felt the Spirit so strongly. It was like I could feel the power of the Priesthood coming from across the street and into my heart. And I realized, this is why I really like Provo.
I know there are men all over the world who hold the Priesthood, but it's not common for a place to be so filled with them that the majority of the people on a random emergency scene would be able to offer a blessing at a moment's notice. It was so powerful to see that.
In what other place could you walk down the street and knock on whatever door you want and most likely find a worthy Priesthood holder? I don't know how, exactly, to put it into words, but it was one of the more powerful experiences I've had in my life and definitely strengthened my testimony. I know that God has given men on this earth the ability to use His power righteously. And I know that is possible through Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World.
Monday, March 11, 2013
One of Those Days
Today was one of those days. You know the kind I'm talking about. I think everyone does. I'm stressed about everything. It seems ridiculous, especially when I think about the difficult circumstances in which so many of the people on this earth live in every single day. Life could be so much worse for me. And I am so grateful for the blessings I have. But you know those days when you just feel so stressed out that you forget that there are thousands of people in this world who have much worse problems? You forget how wonderful your own life really is. Today was one of those days. But that's about to change. Right now. And I'll tell you how. But let me start at the beginning.
First off, I fell asleep on the couch last night, which means I didn't finish doing what I wanted to do yesterday. So it was a bad start. Then I woke up late and missed my first class of the day. I skipped breakfast and hurried to school to finish a group project for a class later on. Of course there was plenty of technical difficulties with the project, including printing it. Printing was a nightmare. I didn't even know that something so easy could be so difficult until today.
It was hard enough trying to work on a group project using a computer program I don't even understand. To add to it, my mind was elsewhere... not on the project. My mind was on the fact that I have 2 late assignments to finish for a different class. And that I have no idea what's going on in another class. And that I'm worried about my family. And my future. And that I need to work out today but don't really have time. And that my room is a mess (actually, that one wasn't on my mind... I just thought of it now while writing, but now that I think of it, it is quite stressful). And that I have 10 goals I need to reach this week, but don't know if I will. And that I need to get stuff done for my church calling. And for a volunteer project I'm doing. And I need to spend time with my loved ones. Oh gosh, the list goes on. You get it.
Of course, while trying to get stuff done, I realized how hungry I was from not having eaten anything today. I didn't have time to pack a lunch, so I went to the cafeteria to buy lunch again... even though I didn't want to spend more money, and probably shouldn't. I also realized I had to pee. And since it's one of those days, of course the bathroom had to be the worse experience of it all. The automatic toilet flushed before I even sat down. Then once more while sitting on the toilet. And twice more once I was finished. Then when I went to wash my hands, the automatic water came out much too hard and splashed me for the whole 30 seconds while washing my hands. And then of course, the automatic towels wouldn't come out... no matter how many times I swiped my hand in the air in front of it and even touched the stinkin' sensor. So I used the air dryer. And we all know how good those things work.
So there's a picture of my day for you. I am now sitting in the corner of a building on campus writing this blog so that I can get my feelings out and move on to get something productive done. But I can't end without the most important part! It gets better. Okay, not really. It'll probably even get a little worse from here, but like I said, I'm going to change my attitude.
First off, I got a text from my roommate reminding me of a wonderful blog I read yesterday. Here's the link: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/ Read it!!! It's so good! So After remembering that, I thought about how I could make my day go better.
Then I texted my boyfriend to tell him about my stressful day and his words of encouragement were a quote from one of my favorite discourses:
"In all of these cases there should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). When we understand grace, we can, as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, 'continue in patience until [we] are perfected' (D&C 67:13)."
(here's the link: http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1966)
And so I see that my attitude is stupid and I need to change. I need to be happy and realize what this life is all about. The world isn't out to get me. But God is out to change me and I need to be more humble and willing to let that happen. I need to learn from my mistakes and become better every day. Every moment. Earlier today was bad, but now will be better. So I fail a class? I try again next semester. So I get a little wet from the annoying automatic sink in the bathroom? I wipe myself off and move on. So I had a bad morning? Tomorrow I'll make it better. And so life goes. How grateful I am for my family and friends who always remind me what is important in life and what really matters.
First off, I fell asleep on the couch last night, which means I didn't finish doing what I wanted to do yesterday. So it was a bad start. Then I woke up late and missed my first class of the day. I skipped breakfast and hurried to school to finish a group project for a class later on. Of course there was plenty of technical difficulties with the project, including printing it. Printing was a nightmare. I didn't even know that something so easy could be so difficult until today.
It was hard enough trying to work on a group project using a computer program I don't even understand. To add to it, my mind was elsewhere... not on the project. My mind was on the fact that I have 2 late assignments to finish for a different class. And that I have no idea what's going on in another class. And that I'm worried about my family. And my future. And that I need to work out today but don't really have time. And that my room is a mess (actually, that one wasn't on my mind... I just thought of it now while writing, but now that I think of it, it is quite stressful). And that I have 10 goals I need to reach this week, but don't know if I will. And that I need to get stuff done for my church calling. And for a volunteer project I'm doing. And I need to spend time with my loved ones. Oh gosh, the list goes on. You get it.
Of course, while trying to get stuff done, I realized how hungry I was from not having eaten anything today. I didn't have time to pack a lunch, so I went to the cafeteria to buy lunch again... even though I didn't want to spend more money, and probably shouldn't. I also realized I had to pee. And since it's one of those days, of course the bathroom had to be the worse experience of it all. The automatic toilet flushed before I even sat down. Then once more while sitting on the toilet. And twice more once I was finished. Then when I went to wash my hands, the automatic water came out much too hard and splashed me for the whole 30 seconds while washing my hands. And then of course, the automatic towels wouldn't come out... no matter how many times I swiped my hand in the air in front of it and even touched the stinkin' sensor. So I used the air dryer. And we all know how good those things work.
So there's a picture of my day for you. I am now sitting in the corner of a building on campus writing this blog so that I can get my feelings out and move on to get something productive done. But I can't end without the most important part! It gets better. Okay, not really. It'll probably even get a little worse from here, but like I said, I'm going to change my attitude.
First off, I got a text from my roommate reminding me of a wonderful blog I read yesterday. Here's the link: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/ Read it!!! It's so good! So After remembering that, I thought about how I could make my day go better.
Then I texted my boyfriend to tell him about my stressful day and his words of encouragement were a quote from one of my favorite discourses:
"In all of these cases there should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). When we understand grace, we can, as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, 'continue in patience until [we] are perfected' (D&C 67:13)."
(here's the link: http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1966)
And so I see that my attitude is stupid and I need to change. I need to be happy and realize what this life is all about. The world isn't out to get me. But God is out to change me and I need to be more humble and willing to let that happen. I need to learn from my mistakes and become better every day. Every moment. Earlier today was bad, but now will be better. So I fail a class? I try again next semester. So I get a little wet from the annoying automatic sink in the bathroom? I wipe myself off and move on. So I had a bad morning? Tomorrow I'll make it better. And so life goes. How grateful I am for my family and friends who always remind me what is important in life and what really matters.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
A Normal Day
7 Dec. 2012
Tonight was hilarious. I’ll start at the beginning of my day, mmmk? So, I woke up this morning with only one of my diamond earrings in my ear. That got me out of bed fast and I definitely didn’t accidentally sleep just a little too late like I normally do. (Oh, and let me note that not even a month ago, my dad decided to sell the earrings on my ears. Of course he felt bad about it and replaced them with an even bigger pair of diamonds… bigger than I’ve ever worn before). So, needless to say, I was a little worried about one being lost in the clothing that needs to be put away/letters from Chris/blankets mess on my bed. I went to the bathroom first, so I could actually concentrate on anything other than my bladder about to burst. As I peed, I worried that the diamond could have been stuck to my PJs (and possibly fallen in the toilet when I sat down). So of course I looked through my own urine before flushing the toilet. TMI? If so, then sorry. So anyway, then I went back to my bed on the search for the diamond. I pulled my blanket up and saw the back of the earing laying… lying… laying… not sure which word to use, but anyway, the back of the earring was there. So I was like, “Okay, that was easy, the front can’t be that far away.” I turned my head and there it was, neatly placed on my nightstand next to my bed. What a miracle! As soon as I saw it there, I suddenly remembered what seemed like a dream just a few hours before. I had woken up in the middle of the night (in what I thought was a dream at the moment), felt that my earring was off, reached around the bed in the dark with my eyes shut, found the earring, and set it on the nightstand for morning when I would have the mental capacity to put the earring back on. So, it turns out, I knew where it was the whole time. Or at least my subconscious mind did.
So, then I said a prayer thanking Father in Heaven for helping me to find that small earring (except, like I said, it was kind of a big one). And then I took a shower and went downstairs and contemplated what to eat for breakfast for about 15 minutes. Nothing looked yummy? But could I eat nothing? No. Okay then. Eggs? Yogurt? No Cinnamon Toast Crunch, so is it even worth it to eat anything else? No. But I’m hungry. Okay, eggs. Scrambled. In a tortilla… a breakfast burrito! So I made that real fast and then hurried off to work. This is the story of my life ever since my mom told me that it wasn’t healthy eating so much Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Work was good. Uneventful yet busy. Oh, but I’ll pause my day here to tell you about my day at work yesterday. That one was indeed eventful. It was CRAZY busy. It seemed like every Mormon in the OC was at there shopping for Christmas presents. And none of them knew what they wanted, so of course, they came to us employees for advice. So I was running around non-stop, which I really don’t mind. I like being busy. About half-way through the day, I was behind the counter checking people out (not to see how hot they were, but so they could pay and get on home). Well, one lady asked me about a Christmas CD as she checked out and wanted to know if it was worth buying. I told her I listened to it all the time on my mission and that I absolutely loved it, which is true (David Archuleta Christmas CD). But that’s beside the point. When I mentioned a mission, I saw a spark in her eyes. She started to ask me more questions. Where did I serve? Spanish speaking? Did I like it? Was I dating a boy before I left? (Woah, we’re getting personal here!) Did he wait for me? What’s happening now? Are we still together? Why did you decide to do that? There were a few people waiting in line behind her, but I wasn’t too worried about her many questions since I was answering them as I checked her out and she had lots of stuff, so I still wasn’t done checking her out. Phil, on the register next to me, couldn’t check anybody out because of a lady determined to use a gift card with no barcode or way of redeeming it. Debbie, our supervisor was helping that situation. That’s not the point. The point is that I had to hurry so I could check out the rest of the customers.
“So, your boyfriend waited for you?”
“Well, he left also to serve a mission. He’s still gone. He’ll be back in January.” I explained quickly.
“So what’s going to happen when he gets back? Are you going to… you know… continue to…” She couldn’t find the words. I decided to help her out.
“Yes, we plan on dating again. I think the sparks will still be there.”
“Oh.” She said and looked disappointed with my answer. Well, that was a different response. Here’s the normal response of people: “No way! That’s so cool that you guys both went on missions and waited for each other! So are you gonna get married?! How exciting!!!”
So yeah, I was a bit curious why this lady was asking so many questions and why she seemed so very interested in the life of a random girl behind the counter checking her out of the bookstore. And to add to my interest, I wanted to know why she seemed so disappointed in me. Or was it in me? Okay, so maybe I started scanning her stuff a little more slowly, just so I could hear her story. Maybe not, I’m not sure. It’s definitely a possibility. Somehow, her story came out. All of it. Her son was 30. He had dated a nice young lady for 9 years. This woman (the woman in the bookstore) really liked her son’s longtime girlfriend. But they had broken up just a month before. Now he was dating a 23 year old girl who was about to leave for a mission. I could hear the anger in her voice as she spoke of this girl. “She’s playing with his heart! Why would she date him if she’s leaving for a year and a half? They’ve only been together for a month!” And then she started crying. I don’t know what I did or said at this point, but this poor woman somehow felt that she could trust me enough to cry to me and tell me the deepest worries of her heart. I asked more about her son and she told me he was a good boy. Active in the Church. But I think she really wanted him married. To the ex-girlfriend. Like 5 years ago. I told her that he would make the right decision (of whether to wait for this girl or not). She didn’t seem comforted, but she did seem calmer. Maybe because she got out her thoughts or maybe because she, too, felt that everything would be okay. So she cried and told me more about how she was feeling. The lady in line behind her was at least 15 feet back and I don’t know if she could hear anything this woman was saying to me. I highly doubt she knew the woman was crying, or else she wouldn’t have said was she said.
She rolled her eyes, moved her hand in a circular motion as if to say to hurry up the process and said, “Could you speed it up a little? I have a back problem.” I’m sure I looked embarrassed. I really wanted to tell this waiting lady to go take a seat on the comfy couch and that I’d call her up when I was done with this customer, but I thought maybe my supervisor would overhear me and think I were rude. So instead, I just looked blankly at her, and then back at the crying lady and I think I said again, “Everything will be okay.” The crying lady looked confused and said, “Did she just tell you to hurry up?” I didn’t want to say yes, but then again, I didn’t want to lie. So I kind of just nodded. I told the crying lady her total and reassured her yet again that everything would work out. I so badly wanted to say, “Hey, just go wait at the door and when I’m done checking out this next grumpy lady, I will come over there and we can talk and you can pour out your soul to me.” But I just couldn’t get myself to say something so very strange to an absolute stranger. So she left with tears in her eyes and all I said was, “have a good day!” Oh it was a horrible feeling. Then Mrs. Impatient came up. I began to ring her up. “I want that bowl over there,” she pointed to a bright yellow, beautiful bowl on a high shelf that she couldn’t reach, but that I probably could.
“Mmm k,” I said. And I went to get it. Then I went to scan it. No barcode. I looked for a SKU number. No number. Great, I thought, this is just what we need right now. I hurried to look for the bowl in the computer system, but found nothing. The impatience of this lady was not improving. She babbled on about how she was in a hurry and just wanted to get out of the store. My pride didn’t allow me to say sorry just yet, only to say that we were really busy with Christmas so near and that I couldn’t ring up the bowl with no SKU. I felt just as annoyed (by the fact that this woman had interrupted a poor, crying lady) as she did (by the fact that she was not getting in and out of that bookstore fast enough). What I failed to recognize was that maybe Mrs. Impatient was struggling deeply with one of her own burdens and just never got the opportunity to let it out, at least not in that moment. I eventually found the SKU for the yellow bowl and I think I also apologized to the lady for the long wait. She left in a bad mood. And I stayed at work in a bad mood… for a few seconds at least… until I was rushing to help another customer again. With lots to do, I soon forgot about the bad mood situation. I was going to the back to find a book. To the computer to see if we had something in stock. To the register to check a price. Back to the back to find another book. Answering questions. To the back again. To the phone to give someone directions. Then to a friendly customer with lots more requests and lots of questions. But that’s never a problem. That’s why I’m there! So I answered. I found. I looked. I helped. I tried at least. And then I rung her up. She thanked me over and over again for helping her and “running around and finding everything” she had requested. I liked doing it for her. She had a gracious attitude and it made me feel productive and useful. Then she bought me a truffle to say thank you. I tried to refuse, but you can only refuse so many times without offending. That made my day. I felt so grateful to work with and work for such nice people. She was an answer to my unspoken prayer. No more bad mood.
So, that was all yesterday. Back to my uneventful day today. I went to work. Then after work I went to my sister Kelly’s house to help her clean. Things go back to a normal level of eventfulness now. She was having the missionaries and a family they’re teaching over for dinner and wanted her house to look… not how it normally looks (which is really messy). So we cleaned for a few hours and I bossed the kids around giving them chores to do. I was going to stay for dinner, but my brother Ryan texted me and told me that Penelope (his daughter) wanted me to come to their ward Christmas party that night because she would be performing. So of course I said yes, especially with everything Ryan, Penelope, and Victoria are going through right now (divorce). They need all the support they can possibly get. And I want them to know that I am here for them. I want them to know they have an advocate. Of course they ALWAYS have Christ. But I think Christ would want me to be there too.
And boy, am I grateful I went to that Christmas dinner tonight. It was absolutely hilarious. All the kids preformed something. The Boy Scouts, a few songs using metal chimes (each kid had his own note). The Activity Days girls, a dance. That’s when Penelope performed. The Young Women, a Christmas song sung to their new, made-up lyrics. The Young Men, a Christmas song with each young man on a different instrument. And lastly, the junior primary, the story of Christ’s birth… the Christmas story… the Nativity. And it was the story as I’ve never seen it before. It started with all the kids dressed as Angels, except for a few. There were 2 narrators, a Mary, and a Joseph. The narrators mumbled into the microphone as little kids usually do, reading the story of Mary and Joseph. And they paused every couple of sentences so the other kids could act out what they spoke. Everything looked very nice. All the kid angels sitting in a very organized fashion in the corner. And the 2 narrators, dressed nicely, in the opposite corner with their microphone. The adults off to the side, hardly being seen. And then one narrator told the part of the story when an angel came to Mary to tell her that she was pregnant. When the primary boy dressed as an angel came onto the stage, he too looked very nice in his costume. But he clumsily scurried into the middle of the stage while dragging a chair behind him. He tripped over his chair and pulled it to where Mary was standing. He loudly set the chair down and then stood up on the chair to be tall like an angel and started to say his line, “Mary, you’re going to have a b—.” He couldn’t seem to finish his sentence without laughing. He said it maybe 5 more times, each time laughing before he could say the word “baby.” Finally, an adult came over to him with a piece of paper and whispered for him to read his line. The boy said into the microphone, “I know what to say, I just can’t say it,” and then he laughed again. The cutest giggle that got the whole crowd laughing too. “I can’t help it.” This poor kid was trying so hard, but he just couldn’t say his line without laughing. He finally got it out with a lot of laughter (from both him and the crowd). Then the narrator said that the angel went to Joseph too. The same problem occurred when this boy had to tell Joseph that Mary was going to have a ba—. Again, he couldn’t get it out. I sat in the front row, laughing and laughing. The boy’s dad was beside me, videotaping (do we use that phrase still? Videotaping? It was actually recording on his iPhone. Same thing, right?) and his mother sat behind me rolling her eyes at her silly son. The whole situation was just hilarious. Next came the part where Mary and Joseph go to a stable and Jesus is born. Mary and Joseph went and stood under the stable. Then the narrator said, “There was a cow.” The second narrator simply said, “Moo” with absolutely no animation in her voice.
“And there was a chicken.”
“Bock bock.” Totally monotone.
“And there was a sheep.”
“Baaaaahhh.”
Then, as directed by the adult leaders, all the little angels went and stood under the stable. Then the stable fell. The roof just dropped right on top of all the kids. The whole crowd gasped. The kids were fine. They were mostly giggling. The show must go on. But the kids were so distracted that nobody could say their lines. The whole thing was just so funny. Maybe you had to be there. I dunno? But just try to imagine it, because if you can see it the way I saw it, you will be laughing for hours! Do you think it’s as funny as I do? I just can’t stop laughing about it. So there’s my entertaining day for you.
Tonight was hilarious. I’ll start at the beginning of my day, mmmk? So, I woke up this morning with only one of my diamond earrings in my ear. That got me out of bed fast and I definitely didn’t accidentally sleep just a little too late like I normally do. (Oh, and let me note that not even a month ago, my dad decided to sell the earrings on my ears. Of course he felt bad about it and replaced them with an even bigger pair of diamonds… bigger than I’ve ever worn before). So, needless to say, I was a little worried about one being lost in the clothing that needs to be put away/letters from Chris/blankets mess on my bed. I went to the bathroom first, so I could actually concentrate on anything other than my bladder about to burst. As I peed, I worried that the diamond could have been stuck to my PJs (and possibly fallen in the toilet when I sat down). So of course I looked through my own urine before flushing the toilet. TMI? If so, then sorry. So anyway, then I went back to my bed on the search for the diamond. I pulled my blanket up and saw the back of the earing laying… lying… laying… not sure which word to use, but anyway, the back of the earring was there. So I was like, “Okay, that was easy, the front can’t be that far away.” I turned my head and there it was, neatly placed on my nightstand next to my bed. What a miracle! As soon as I saw it there, I suddenly remembered what seemed like a dream just a few hours before. I had woken up in the middle of the night (in what I thought was a dream at the moment), felt that my earring was off, reached around the bed in the dark with my eyes shut, found the earring, and set it on the nightstand for morning when I would have the mental capacity to put the earring back on. So, it turns out, I knew where it was the whole time. Or at least my subconscious mind did.
So, then I said a prayer thanking Father in Heaven for helping me to find that small earring (except, like I said, it was kind of a big one). And then I took a shower and went downstairs and contemplated what to eat for breakfast for about 15 minutes. Nothing looked yummy? But could I eat nothing? No. Okay then. Eggs? Yogurt? No Cinnamon Toast Crunch, so is it even worth it to eat anything else? No. But I’m hungry. Okay, eggs. Scrambled. In a tortilla… a breakfast burrito! So I made that real fast and then hurried off to work. This is the story of my life ever since my mom told me that it wasn’t healthy eating so much Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Work was good. Uneventful yet busy. Oh, but I’ll pause my day here to tell you about my day at work yesterday. That one was indeed eventful. It was CRAZY busy. It seemed like every Mormon in the OC was at there shopping for Christmas presents. And none of them knew what they wanted, so of course, they came to us employees for advice. So I was running around non-stop, which I really don’t mind. I like being busy. About half-way through the day, I was behind the counter checking people out (not to see how hot they were, but so they could pay and get on home). Well, one lady asked me about a Christmas CD as she checked out and wanted to know if it was worth buying. I told her I listened to it all the time on my mission and that I absolutely loved it, which is true (David Archuleta Christmas CD). But that’s beside the point. When I mentioned a mission, I saw a spark in her eyes. She started to ask me more questions. Where did I serve? Spanish speaking? Did I like it? Was I dating a boy before I left? (Woah, we’re getting personal here!) Did he wait for me? What’s happening now? Are we still together? Why did you decide to do that? There were a few people waiting in line behind her, but I wasn’t too worried about her many questions since I was answering them as I checked her out and she had lots of stuff, so I still wasn’t done checking her out. Phil, on the register next to me, couldn’t check anybody out because of a lady determined to use a gift card with no barcode or way of redeeming it. Debbie, our supervisor was helping that situation. That’s not the point. The point is that I had to hurry so I could check out the rest of the customers.
“So, your boyfriend waited for you?”
“Well, he left also to serve a mission. He’s still gone. He’ll be back in January.” I explained quickly.
“So what’s going to happen when he gets back? Are you going to… you know… continue to…” She couldn’t find the words. I decided to help her out.
“Yes, we plan on dating again. I think the sparks will still be there.”
“Oh.” She said and looked disappointed with my answer. Well, that was a different response. Here’s the normal response of people: “No way! That’s so cool that you guys both went on missions and waited for each other! So are you gonna get married?! How exciting!!!”
So yeah, I was a bit curious why this lady was asking so many questions and why she seemed so very interested in the life of a random girl behind the counter checking her out of the bookstore. And to add to my interest, I wanted to know why she seemed so disappointed in me. Or was it in me? Okay, so maybe I started scanning her stuff a little more slowly, just so I could hear her story. Maybe not, I’m not sure. It’s definitely a possibility. Somehow, her story came out. All of it. Her son was 30. He had dated a nice young lady for 9 years. This woman (the woman in the bookstore) really liked her son’s longtime girlfriend. But they had broken up just a month before. Now he was dating a 23 year old girl who was about to leave for a mission. I could hear the anger in her voice as she spoke of this girl. “She’s playing with his heart! Why would she date him if she’s leaving for a year and a half? They’ve only been together for a month!” And then she started crying. I don’t know what I did or said at this point, but this poor woman somehow felt that she could trust me enough to cry to me and tell me the deepest worries of her heart. I asked more about her son and she told me he was a good boy. Active in the Church. But I think she really wanted him married. To the ex-girlfriend. Like 5 years ago. I told her that he would make the right decision (of whether to wait for this girl or not). She didn’t seem comforted, but she did seem calmer. Maybe because she got out her thoughts or maybe because she, too, felt that everything would be okay. So she cried and told me more about how she was feeling. The lady in line behind her was at least 15 feet back and I don’t know if she could hear anything this woman was saying to me. I highly doubt she knew the woman was crying, or else she wouldn’t have said was she said.
She rolled her eyes, moved her hand in a circular motion as if to say to hurry up the process and said, “Could you speed it up a little? I have a back problem.” I’m sure I looked embarrassed. I really wanted to tell this waiting lady to go take a seat on the comfy couch and that I’d call her up when I was done with this customer, but I thought maybe my supervisor would overhear me and think I were rude. So instead, I just looked blankly at her, and then back at the crying lady and I think I said again, “Everything will be okay.” The crying lady looked confused and said, “Did she just tell you to hurry up?” I didn’t want to say yes, but then again, I didn’t want to lie. So I kind of just nodded. I told the crying lady her total and reassured her yet again that everything would work out. I so badly wanted to say, “Hey, just go wait at the door and when I’m done checking out this next grumpy lady, I will come over there and we can talk and you can pour out your soul to me.” But I just couldn’t get myself to say something so very strange to an absolute stranger. So she left with tears in her eyes and all I said was, “have a good day!” Oh it was a horrible feeling. Then Mrs. Impatient came up. I began to ring her up. “I want that bowl over there,” she pointed to a bright yellow, beautiful bowl on a high shelf that she couldn’t reach, but that I probably could.
“Mmm k,” I said. And I went to get it. Then I went to scan it. No barcode. I looked for a SKU number. No number. Great, I thought, this is just what we need right now. I hurried to look for the bowl in the computer system, but found nothing. The impatience of this lady was not improving. She babbled on about how she was in a hurry and just wanted to get out of the store. My pride didn’t allow me to say sorry just yet, only to say that we were really busy with Christmas so near and that I couldn’t ring up the bowl with no SKU. I felt just as annoyed (by the fact that this woman had interrupted a poor, crying lady) as she did (by the fact that she was not getting in and out of that bookstore fast enough). What I failed to recognize was that maybe Mrs. Impatient was struggling deeply with one of her own burdens and just never got the opportunity to let it out, at least not in that moment. I eventually found the SKU for the yellow bowl and I think I also apologized to the lady for the long wait. She left in a bad mood. And I stayed at work in a bad mood… for a few seconds at least… until I was rushing to help another customer again. With lots to do, I soon forgot about the bad mood situation. I was going to the back to find a book. To the computer to see if we had something in stock. To the register to check a price. Back to the back to find another book. Answering questions. To the back again. To the phone to give someone directions. Then to a friendly customer with lots more requests and lots of questions. But that’s never a problem. That’s why I’m there! So I answered. I found. I looked. I helped. I tried at least. And then I rung her up. She thanked me over and over again for helping her and “running around and finding everything” she had requested. I liked doing it for her. She had a gracious attitude and it made me feel productive and useful. Then she bought me a truffle to say thank you. I tried to refuse, but you can only refuse so many times without offending. That made my day. I felt so grateful to work with and work for such nice people. She was an answer to my unspoken prayer. No more bad mood.
So, that was all yesterday. Back to my uneventful day today. I went to work. Then after work I went to my sister Kelly’s house to help her clean. Things go back to a normal level of eventfulness now. She was having the missionaries and a family they’re teaching over for dinner and wanted her house to look… not how it normally looks (which is really messy). So we cleaned for a few hours and I bossed the kids around giving them chores to do. I was going to stay for dinner, but my brother Ryan texted me and told me that Penelope (his daughter) wanted me to come to their ward Christmas party that night because she would be performing. So of course I said yes, especially with everything Ryan, Penelope, and Victoria are going through right now (divorce). They need all the support they can possibly get. And I want them to know that I am here for them. I want them to know they have an advocate. Of course they ALWAYS have Christ. But I think Christ would want me to be there too.
And boy, am I grateful I went to that Christmas dinner tonight. It was absolutely hilarious. All the kids preformed something. The Boy Scouts, a few songs using metal chimes (each kid had his own note). The Activity Days girls, a dance. That’s when Penelope performed. The Young Women, a Christmas song sung to their new, made-up lyrics. The Young Men, a Christmas song with each young man on a different instrument. And lastly, the junior primary, the story of Christ’s birth… the Christmas story… the Nativity. And it was the story as I’ve never seen it before. It started with all the kids dressed as Angels, except for a few. There were 2 narrators, a Mary, and a Joseph. The narrators mumbled into the microphone as little kids usually do, reading the story of Mary and Joseph. And they paused every couple of sentences so the other kids could act out what they spoke. Everything looked very nice. All the kid angels sitting in a very organized fashion in the corner. And the 2 narrators, dressed nicely, in the opposite corner with their microphone. The adults off to the side, hardly being seen. And then one narrator told the part of the story when an angel came to Mary to tell her that she was pregnant. When the primary boy dressed as an angel came onto the stage, he too looked very nice in his costume. But he clumsily scurried into the middle of the stage while dragging a chair behind him. He tripped over his chair and pulled it to where Mary was standing. He loudly set the chair down and then stood up on the chair to be tall like an angel and started to say his line, “Mary, you’re going to have a b—.” He couldn’t seem to finish his sentence without laughing. He said it maybe 5 more times, each time laughing before he could say the word “baby.” Finally, an adult came over to him with a piece of paper and whispered for him to read his line. The boy said into the microphone, “I know what to say, I just can’t say it,” and then he laughed again. The cutest giggle that got the whole crowd laughing too. “I can’t help it.” This poor kid was trying so hard, but he just couldn’t say his line without laughing. He finally got it out with a lot of laughter (from both him and the crowd). Then the narrator said that the angel went to Joseph too. The same problem occurred when this boy had to tell Joseph that Mary was going to have a ba—. Again, he couldn’t get it out. I sat in the front row, laughing and laughing. The boy’s dad was beside me, videotaping (do we use that phrase still? Videotaping? It was actually recording on his iPhone. Same thing, right?) and his mother sat behind me rolling her eyes at her silly son. The whole situation was just hilarious. Next came the part where Mary and Joseph go to a stable and Jesus is born. Mary and Joseph went and stood under the stable. Then the narrator said, “There was a cow.” The second narrator simply said, “Moo” with absolutely no animation in her voice.
“And there was a chicken.”
“Bock bock.” Totally monotone.
“And there was a sheep.”
“Baaaaahhh.”
Then, as directed by the adult leaders, all the little angels went and stood under the stable. Then the stable fell. The roof just dropped right on top of all the kids. The whole crowd gasped. The kids were fine. They were mostly giggling. The show must go on. But the kids were so distracted that nobody could say their lines. The whole thing was just so funny. Maybe you had to be there. I dunno? But just try to imagine it, because if you can see it the way I saw it, you will be laughing for hours! Do you think it’s as funny as I do? I just can’t stop laughing about it. So there’s my entertaining day for you.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dad's an Animal Lover
Here's some great stories that show how much of an animal lover my dad is. He may be a big guy, but he's a little girl at heart. We'll start with something I overheard about 2 minutes ago...
Kitties and Customers
I've been sitting in my bedroom reading a book. My room is right above my dad's office, and since he always uses speaker phone, I can hear him talking to his customer. I can also hear my cat, Buffy, meowing and meowing. She wants to go outside. And even though she's made it a good 14 years outside without getting caught by a coyote, we still want her to stay in the house... just to be safe.
Well, all of the sudden, in the middle of a business conversation with this customer, my dad said, "Can you hear my kitty?" The lady said, "Yeah, I can." And my dad proceeded to explain to her: "She's 14 years old, and she comes in here and just sits on my desk and meows. She just wants to talk to me is all. And at night when I'm trying to sleep, she rubs her face on my chin. I used to have a beard, you know? I shaved it off, but she loved rubbing up against my beard. Sounds gross, huh? But she loves it. And then she meows and takes me over to the sink and I turn on the water for her so she can drink out of the faucet. She likes to drink the water dripping from the faucet. She's got me trained." Then he laughed and said, "Yeah, she's got me trained."
I just had to write this down. I LOVE that my dad is such an animal person. Sometimes, our dog Hansel likes to eat things that he shouldn't (trash, kids' toys, underwear, etc.). And he refuses to open his mouth for us to get it out. So I slap is nose or stick my finger down his throat until he lets go. Well, if my dad is in the room, it doesn't matter HOW stupid the dog is being, Dad always says, "Oh, don't hit him. He's just a puppy. Poor little Hansel. They're so mean to you, huh?"
Duck
If you've even just MET my dad, then you know he likes food... and that he'll pretty much eat anything, as long as it's hot. The man will eat snails, squid, raw fish, and moldy cheese. But he will not eat duck. Why? Because he once had a pet duck, who he obviously loved dearly.
Lucy Lu... our Pig
One thing that many people don't know is that our family has a pet pig. We don't keep her at our house because, well, who would keep a 300 pound pig at their house with 4 dogs and 3 cats? So anyway, she stays up North with some friends of ours. A few years ago, there was a little girl at our church, Keiko, who was part of a program where she raised a pig (from a baby) and then sold it in an auction at the Orange County Fair. Well, she was asking people to come bid on her pig, to support her, and so my dad did. And he won it! After the auction, Keiko came to my dad to tell him what people typically do when they win a pig. My dad knew what people normally did with a pig. They sell it for bacon. So the first thing my dad told Keiko was, "I don't wanna kill it." That put a smiler on her face fast. You see, Keiko had raised Lucy Lu from a baby and had become quite attached to her. But she had also prepared herself for this moment, when the pig would no longer be hers and would have to go on and do what pigs are "supposed" to do... become bacon. Well, my dad wasn't gonna have it. He told her, "Don't worry, I will make sure that whoever gets the pig will not kill it." And he kept his promise. He paid for the pig and then gave it to Keiko's family to live with them up North on their farm. Last we heard, Lucy Lu was having babies and the babies were being sold for bacon. But not Lucy. My dad is good for his word.
Kitties and Customers
I've been sitting in my bedroom reading a book. My room is right above my dad's office, and since he always uses speaker phone, I can hear him talking to his customer. I can also hear my cat, Buffy, meowing and meowing. She wants to go outside. And even though she's made it a good 14 years outside without getting caught by a coyote, we still want her to stay in the house... just to be safe.
Well, all of the sudden, in the middle of a business conversation with this customer, my dad said, "Can you hear my kitty?" The lady said, "Yeah, I can." And my dad proceeded to explain to her: "She's 14 years old, and she comes in here and just sits on my desk and meows. She just wants to talk to me is all. And at night when I'm trying to sleep, she rubs her face on my chin. I used to have a beard, you know? I shaved it off, but she loved rubbing up against my beard. Sounds gross, huh? But she loves it. And then she meows and takes me over to the sink and I turn on the water for her so she can drink out of the faucet. She likes to drink the water dripping from the faucet. She's got me trained." Then he laughed and said, "Yeah, she's got me trained."
I just had to write this down. I LOVE that my dad is such an animal person. Sometimes, our dog Hansel likes to eat things that he shouldn't (trash, kids' toys, underwear, etc.). And he refuses to open his mouth for us to get it out. So I slap is nose or stick my finger down his throat until he lets go. Well, if my dad is in the room, it doesn't matter HOW stupid the dog is being, Dad always says, "Oh, don't hit him. He's just a puppy. Poor little Hansel. They're so mean to you, huh?"
Duck
If you've even just MET my dad, then you know he likes food... and that he'll pretty much eat anything, as long as it's hot. The man will eat snails, squid, raw fish, and moldy cheese. But he will not eat duck. Why? Because he once had a pet duck, who he obviously loved dearly.
Lucy Lu... our Pig
One thing that many people don't know is that our family has a pet pig. We don't keep her at our house because, well, who would keep a 300 pound pig at their house with 4 dogs and 3 cats? So anyway, she stays up North with some friends of ours. A few years ago, there was a little girl at our church, Keiko, who was part of a program where she raised a pig (from a baby) and then sold it in an auction at the Orange County Fair. Well, she was asking people to come bid on her pig, to support her, and so my dad did. And he won it! After the auction, Keiko came to my dad to tell him what people typically do when they win a pig. My dad knew what people normally did with a pig. They sell it for bacon. So the first thing my dad told Keiko was, "I don't wanna kill it." That put a smiler on her face fast. You see, Keiko had raised Lucy Lu from a baby and had become quite attached to her. But she had also prepared herself for this moment, when the pig would no longer be hers and would have to go on and do what pigs are "supposed" to do... become bacon. Well, my dad wasn't gonna have it. He told her, "Don't worry, I will make sure that whoever gets the pig will not kill it." And he kept his promise. He paid for the pig and then gave it to Keiko's family to live with them up North on their farm. Last we heard, Lucy Lu was having babies and the babies were being sold for bacon. But not Lucy. My dad is good for his word.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
So Relieved!
I feel 200% better than I did when I wrote the last blog. Chris wrote. I'm not so worried anymore. He's doing well and enjoying the spirit at the MTC. I still miss him, of course, but I'm oh so happy for him and that he is doing what he feels is right. I've written a letter to him almost every day so far. Maybe every day, actually. He's awesome. I am so relieved to know that he is being taken care of well.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Missing Chris
Here's Chris right before he enters the MTC.
I don't even know what to write. I guess I should write about what's been going on in life...
Well, Chris left for the MTC (Missionary Training Center) on Wednesday. It wasn't hard saying goodbye to him. But it's hard now. I'm lonely and I worry about how he feels. Is he happy? Excited? Homesick? I just want to hear from him already! I was so excited to be able to hear from him on Monday (tomorrow) until my sister informed me that not everybody has Monday as their P-day (preparation day... the day they can write home).
Last night we had the ASL sister missionaries at the house for dinner. One of the girls was just in the MTC in November and was in the same branch as the missionaries going to the Washington Kennewick Mission. She said her P-day was Thursdays. So I'm hoping to hear from Chris no later than Thursday.
I miss him so much. He worked for my dad (here, our of the house), so even though we weren't hanging out all the time, he was always close. I always had the chance to see him, hug him, kiss him, talk to him, call him, if I wanted. Now I get bored a lot and don't know what to do with myself. I definitely have enough to do. Who doesn't? I have books I want to read. I have the Spanish language to learn. I have The Book of Mormon to finish. I have Preach my Gospel to study. I have a class to take. I have family to be with. I have exercising to do. I have the piano to master. But instead I find myself procrastinating. Nothing too unfamiliar really, but it's different because I spend my procrastination time laying around doing nothing instead of spending it texting Chris (like I do with my normal procrastination time).
It's not as bad as I might make it sound. I'm sure he's happy. I'm sure he's having a great time. I'll be leaving soon myself. I report to the MTC on February 16th. I guess Heidi and my mom are gonna drive up with me a few days early. Bradley and Hope's brand new baby, Addie, is going to be blessed in Utah. So I'll be there for that and then I'm off. And no, I won't get to see Chris in the MTC. He leaves a week before I get there. I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
I feel like I love Chris more and more as he's gone. I think that's the whole "you don't appreciate what you have till it's gone" thing. Okay, I'm thinking too much for tonight.
I guess what's most important is that I'm very happy for him. I'm so proud of him. And even though a lot of people think that I have been an example to him, HE has been an example to ME. I love him and I love what he's doing.
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